50 Shades of Your Opinions

I would first like to start off that if you have not seen the movie, “50 Shades of Grey”, or read the book/s, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT IT. 

Secondly, I understand where you’re coming from. Based on the trailer, I can see how you’re getting that she’s being abused, but I have seen the movie and she is not. Nor is it a situation where she thinks she can change him so she goes along with it . She literally knows what she’s doing and the one time, ONE TIME, she says no, he respects that and obeys. Remember when we learned not to judge a book by it’s cover? Don’t judge a movie by it’s trailer. I also understand the fact that abusive relationships tend to ignore the safe word and things get really out of hand. I get that over romanticizing this movie can be an issue for ACTUALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, but the relationship in this movie (at least so far) has not been abusive. 

Thirdly, I would like to point out that this is FAN FICTION based off TWILIGHT. Meaning it’s basically a caricature of that story, plus like 3, two minute sex scenes, tops. (There really wasn’t any more sex than an average rated R movie). 

The attractive, mysterious, rich, loner guy, Christian/Edward, (who also lives in a giant house that’s mostly windows, and plays piano) has his attention directed to a quiet, shy, awkward, innocent girl, Anna/Bella. Christian/Edward literally tells Anna/Bella that he is not the man for her and she should stay away (since he’s fully aware that he’s a dominant/vampire but hasn’t told her that yet). Yet Anna/Bella is drawn towards Christian’s/Edward’s air of mystery and eventually Christian/Edward is like “screw it” and they end up in a relationship anyway because Anna/Bella is all he ever wanted and he can’t stay away. When Christian/Edward tells Anna/Bella that he is a dominant/vampire, she is of course, concerned for her safety, and knows that he is potentially dangerous, but goes along with him and his danger anyway. Oh, and did I mention that before Anna/Bella really knew Christian/Edward, he kinda stalked her? Like knew-where-she-slept-and-where-she-was-around-town kind of stalked her. Also, Anna/Bella ended up with bruises after sex with Christian/Edward but she was cool with it. IT’S THE SAME EXACT STORY.

Fourth on my list: I am not defending this movie because I like it. I thought it was one of the worst movies ever (although keeping the fact that it’s basically a spoof of twilight in mind made it more bearable and pretty entertaining). 

5. Twilight is LITERALLY a predator and prey romance. Yeah, the movie was criticized, but that was because it was kind of a dumb premise, not the fact that it was an extremely unhealthy relationship that put the woman at the mercy of the man. Even though it’s fantasy it still carries the same message as 50 Shades; the dangerous, potentially harmful man really just wants to have you in his arms, despite the danger he knows he presents to you. 

6. I just ask you to please educate yourself before you convey your opinion about a topic. It’s like listening to someone who has never been outside in their life say that grass is dangerous because it looks spiky from the windows, and that no one should go outside and risk the danger. Please know what you’re talking about before you talk about it. Thank you. 

What Catches Our Attention

I really don't like what catches our attention in the media. Well, it's not so much what catches it, more like how and why it's caught. For example, we lost Robin Williams this week (I can't find the words to describe him or how much he'll be missed); and as great as it is that people are trying to raise awareness of depression and it's effects, why does it take losing someone famous for us to give a crap? Someone in Massachusetts could commit suicide and people in Australia wouldn't care, and honestly, that happens all the time. Not those exact locations per se, but more than 25,000 people kill themselves a year in the US alone, and when was the last time you tweeted about it?
It's not just negative pieces in the news either, it happens to the positive stuff too. I constantly see those uplifting and inspiring videos on my facebook news feed saying "look at this proof animals can be friends with each other" or "this mom plays a heartfelt song for her dying daughter." That stuff is fantastic, it really is. But the way it's presented makes it seem so rare, especially when most of the media consists of the negative stories. I don't know if you watch Pirates of The Caribbean as much as I do, but Jack telling the truth is kind of like those positive stories:

I think we've been conditioned to expect the worst from people and from the world in general. The bad things are everywhere and the good ones are few, far between and "I need to post this right now to make someone's day better." Why do our days have to be crappy to start out with? Why try to make someone else's day better when it's a lot easier just to notice the good stuff you have? If we all realized how much good happens around us, a lot less of us would feel depressed. (I'm not saying that simply changing to a positive outlook can fix actual depression, but some people can be slight hypochondriacs.)

Try to have a happy outlook so you can better help people who seriously have depression. The worst thing you can do is one up them. Just let them know you're there, you'll listen and you care. They feel like their world is falling apart and there's nothing they can do to fix it so don't tell them "it's gonna be alright" because they just won't believe you. Sometimes the things you say without words are the loudest.

Here's a little poem I wrote

You can't see the facts and deny that behind a politely stated "hi" lies a quiet unspoken judgement on the way we speak and dress 

And this infected mentality which represents our nationality provides the common misconception that we're required to impress

We spend hours on our appearance worried about what they'll think Convinced we can fix that reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink

It's so hardnot to be sorely disappointed when you believe the flaws you tried so hard to hide are still pointed 

And it doesn't matter; the number of compliments we receive when our minds demand and insist that they should not be believed.

Onward we struggle; both male and female combined Constantly in a state of civil war with our mind.Teetering on the verge of insanity just to obtain that "perfect look"When the reason for our depression is so obviously textbook 

There's an often said phrase that "the whole worlds a stage" and while brought up with good intentions at the time of its conception now stands with fierce oppression denying every question about whether or not it's worth it to keep putting on the show

The girls paint their faces and everyone takes their places in a play that they didn't go and sign up to put on And when we keep lying to strangers we forget about the dangers of letting go of who we are until we're already gone

Advertising companies don't help our situation In fact they make it worse by degrading the generationTo the point where we have acquired such a low self esteem that we're willing to buy almost anything as long as it means that we'll be pretty and happy and macho and cool, looking at photoshopped girls and guys by the pool, thinking "nobody likes me because I'm ugly, not thin", or "having human emotions makes me less masculine."

How in the world have we come to this conclusion, that having these imperfections requires constant illusion? 

When did we end up in a world of delusion knowing that all of this acting will lead to our seclusion?

We need to stop living in this state of delusion and realize this mask that we;re wearing is not the solution.

Worldview

I don't write much on this blog because I'm rarely in the mood to write. School has kind of killed it for me. But once in a while I feel like I might explode if I don't do something, so here's the latest. 

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If people weren't so selfish, the world would be a lot better. Have you ever noticed the things people complain about? Things like, not enough money, not being pretty enough, not fitting in; it's all stuff that would better their own lives. Sure, there's people who are out there trying to stop world hunger. You know. The ones on t.v. and stuff. Celebrities trying to boost their image by saying, "I'm not a heartless person, see? I care about the needy." Which is, ironically, what they're saying to make them more likeable and famous. It's all just one big game; one big advertisement. Everywhere we turn, someone is trying to sell us something. And usually, it's by  making us feel bad about ourselves. They make us feel infirior. Like, we're not complete until we buy what they're selling. We're so wrapped up in trying to be perfect all the time. We all know that we'll never achieve it, but we still feel so empty inside when things don't go the way we want. 

Take movies for instance. How many times have we watched the chick flicks and uplifiting dramas about people who hit rock bottom and find love in the most unconventional place, and it all works out and they live happily ever after? Seriously, I'm surprised there aren't rainbows and unicorns covered in glitter, while everyone joins hands and starts singing that song from the Grinch. Movies like that are so popular because no one wants to think about the fact that life is hard. We don't want to remember that we don't know what we're doing, that we probably never will, and that sometimes, the world just sucks. We're all just content to live vicariously through these fictitional characters with their perfect lives. And when we leave the theater and experience heartbreak and suffering, we try to make oursleves feel better by watching more uplifting movies. 

Why can't we all just accept that sometimes, our heart is going to feel like a rock in our chest? Sometimes it will feel like a black hole that can never be filled. Sometimes, it will be so hard to breathe, you wonder if you can ever be happy. How could you ever be happy in a place like this? The media keeps feeding you lies, and the advertising companies constantly bring down your self esteem. It's almost like they're working together. The media makes you believe you can achieve more, and the advertisements convince you there's a way to achieve that "more" that the media was talking about. 

And love. Hah! Don't get me wrong, it exists. But you know why everyone seems to have a problem with it? Because the stupid movies tell you there's love at first sight, and they were just destined to be together. And that means nothing can tear you apart. Destiny. Really? No, love is harder than that. It's a choice. It might not always be a concious choice, but it's still a choice. You have to choose to keep loving someone. You still want to be there for them, even when all they do is lash out at you. You always put that one person first, and it's so amazing when you're first on their list too. You're willing to give up your own happiness, as long as they get to be happy (and when they want the same for you, it usually works out.) You want nothing more in the world than to be there for them, and talk to them and get to know all about them. 

And one of the worst pains you can feel is unrequitted love. When you would do anything to make that person happy, and you stick by them no matter how awful they get, and you know the whole time, they wouldn't do the same for you. It just leaves you feeling so empty inside, and your heart feels like a rock. A black hole that can never be filled. And it gets so hard to breathe. And you wonder if you can ever be loved back. Or if you'll just have to spend the rest of your life alone,  while all your friends go riding off into the sunset in their magical movie relationships. And it is all the movies' fault. They make you think you need a relationship to be happy. And you know it's not true but sometimes, it feels like the truest thing in the world. You keep telling yourself that you're ok, but you look up at the stars and just wish there was that special person to share the universe with you. It sounds so cliché, but you can't deny feeling that at some point. 

So we wait. We wait for that hole in our chest to be filled. Some of us even try to fill it ourselves. We buy things to make us happy. To boost our self esteem. To satisfy the gaping black hole that's slowly starting to suck away our hope. 

Sometimes on long road trips, I listen to music, look out the window, and wonder how many people actually notice things around them. We are so absorbed in technology. Internet, movies, t.v., cell phones, computers. And that's how we connect. Have you ever looked up while riding in a car? Just watched the scenery? It's amazing how fast we can travel through all of it. I don't really know where I'm going with this one, but I feel like we should all just sit outside more. Hang out in person, not on google. Find a quiet spot to read a classic book and enjoy the peace of not knowing where everyone is all the time, and what they're up to today. Notice things around you. The best things in the world are not in the internet; they're in the world. You're happier when you surround yourself with people who love you.

My favorite quote from Doctor Who is "...life is a pile of good things and bad things...the good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." So don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Yeah someitmes the world sucks, but it'll get better. So buckle up and get ready for the rollercoaster. 

Food Can Be Poison!!

   So in health class, we are learning about how obese America has gotten over the past 20 years. Why is it so acceptable for people to be fat? You always hear people tell smokers that smoking is bad and that they should quit or they are going to die, but for some reason, it's not ok to tell to tell someone who is fat, that they need to stop eating as much or they are going to die. Why is it sociably unacceptable to go up to someone and tell them that they are fat and, if they just change, they could be thinner?
 
   It really annoys me when fat people say that "it's hard to be fat, when society throws skinny models around as the standards for being 'beautiful'". Really? Are we all supposed to feel sorry for you? If "life is so hard when you're fat", why aren't you trying to change it? Eat healthier, work out, or if none of that works, talk to a doctor about what you should be doing! You don't get to blame it on genetics, or say "it runs in the family", because, even if you have the "fat gene" the most you may gain is around 2 pounds. Which means if you have the gene, you need to work out. You can't use it as an excuse to not even try to lose weight!! http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-antidepressant-diet/201111/can-your-genes-really-make-you-fat

    Fat people blame everyone but themselves."Restaurants don't serve healthy food----my job doesn't give me time to cook healthy food, so I eat out----there's no time in my schedule to exercise----etc..." Let me tell all you excuse makers something. If you are upset enough with being fat, you won't make these excuses, you will find the time to exercise, or you'll take one of your days off from your job to cook the healthy food you want to eat for the week. Something! Anything! For crying out loud! The only time it's acceptable to complain about being overweight, is when your doctor says, "that's as light as you can get, while still being healthy." If a professional doctor tells you that there is nothing more you can do, then by all means, complain all you want. Unless of course, your at a healthy weight. (that is also annoying; when people say they're fat when they're not, but that's another rant:)

   It's all about personal choices. You don't have to eat that greasy cheese burger with greasy fries when you could be having a fresh salad; you don't have to drink all the sugary juices and sodas when you could be drinking water; you don't have to sit at home when you could be exercising. Don't get me wrong, I don't have the most healthy diet, and I don't exercise as much as I probably should, but I also do not complain. Even though I am in the higher end of my healthy weight range, I am not very happy with my weight, but I don't complain because I know I could be doing something to change it.

   LAZY. L-A-Z-Y. Lazy. We are all lazy. I'm lazy. Too lazy to change my weight even though I am unhappy with it. But I also realize that it's my choice to be lazy. We all need to realize that we need to overcome the laziness if we want to be a thinner country. I'm not saying that restaurants can't decide to help by serving healthier foods, or that there couldn't be gyms on corners like Starbucks, but that's a lot to ask of so many corporations, and until they get healthier (if they ever do), it's up to us to choose to be healthy.

   So, back to "food can be poison". Think about it, food is like drugs. At the right amount, it's ok to have. You need food, and sometimes you need drugs, like being prescribed medicine. But too much drugs or too much food can be addicting, and if you don't get over your addiction soon enough, you could die. America needs to quit eating so much. We need to get over our food addiction, and only eat what is necessary (with a few fun foods every once and a while in moderation); then we can be healthier.